Sunday, March 7, 2010

Intrepidness

Intrepidness to me is liberating ourselves from intimidation and our fears, so that we can erase the limitations we put on ourselves and in doing so live our lives fully, wholly and completely.

Intrepidness is being brave enough to realise when someone isn’t worth it and act upon it. To realise that the people who turn a blind eye when someone hurts you, try to silence you when you cry out and continually let you down aren’t really your friends. Intrepidness is having the courage to walk away from these people even though it might mean being alone.

I think being alone scares us all. We all want to have someone or some people in our lives. But when you think about it, sometimes it’s a better option. Because that loneliness you feel, that isn’t permanent. You might be alone for a month, for a year or more, but it’s not going to be forever. And in that time you won’t be having to look over your shoulder to see who is stabbing you in the back or think through every word you say in case someone is copying and pasting it to someone else.

Intrepidness is not believing those who put you down. So many of us love someone who cheats on us, swears at us, belittles us and puts down our dreams and I think it’s intrepid to realise they’re wrong.

I think the majority of us stay with people like that because there’s that annoyingly persistent voice in our heads saying we deserve it, that this is the best we can get. Because we can stand in front of a mirror and see a flaw in every single thing about us and it makes us question why anyone would ever like us, let alone love us. Or maybe there’s a masochistic part in us, where we love people who repeatedly hurt us.

It’s been said that we accept the love we think we deserve. But I really don’t think that love exists where it seems someone’s main goal is to break you. And those tiny moments where you can breathe amongst the pain and the put downs, that is not enough. No one deserves that.

There is no good that can come of investing yourself, feelings and time into someone who puts you down. We’re all human and we all have feelings, and if someone can’t respect that, can’t respect you enough not to swear at you or yell at you then they aren’t worthy of you. And life is too short to spend it caring about someone who puts you down and belittles you and your dreams. Life is too short to waste time on people who can’t see your true worth.

It’s always going to be hard to walk away from someone you care about. I know. And I know that memories of when they were nice flood your mind like an endless silent movie. I know it’s scary because your friendship or relationship with them is familiar and you reassure yourself it must mean something because once upon a time you felt something profound with them. But things change, feelings change. And as hard as it is, we have to learn to move on when things get bad. As Alan Cohen said “There is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life and in change there is power.”

Intrepidness is reaching for things even though the chances of failing are high. Intrepidness is not letting our insecurities shadow our lives and limit us. It’s disappointing how often we shy away from things because we think we’re unworthy. It’s there in all of us. We all have times we haven’t gone for something we’ve wanted to do because we didn’t think we were talented enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough and the list goes on. But I think intrepidness is reminding yourself that no one else is you and no one else can bring what you have. And intrepidness is remembering that there are always going to be times we fail, but trying beats the hell out of not every single time.

Intrepidness is realising your worth and believing that things will get better. Intrepidness is having faith that things will change. Intrepidness is having the courage to change things for yourself. Intrepidness is not settling with people who don’t care about you because it’s easy. While you waste time with them, you miss out on people who could be so much better for you. Intrepidness is being open and unafraid.

Marianne Williamson wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Intrepidness is not being afraid to shine.

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed reading your blog, and say thank you in more ways than one for a new found inspiration and outlook to take in my stride.

    Keep up the good work.

    ReplyDelete